It's similar to the right to be sued. I recall (but cannot find) an essay describing the game theory of legal immunity – that, if people can't sue you, they can't trust you, not really. What if you screw them over? Well, it's okay for you, so they're constantly looking over their shoulder. And costs go way up, not what you charge, but the cost of doing business (plus it is way more stressful) and you become noncompetitive. Vulnerability, when you do something wrong, helps people trust that you won't do something wrong when possible. Even if, when the hammer is coming down in court, you will do everything you can to avoid it.

I've felt shame pretty intensely, more and more intensely, as I've gotten older, even as my transgressions have gotten more and more minor. I'm quick to be embarrassed.

I wish that wasn't true. It is perhaps the one thing I would change about myself if I could. It is a terrible feeling.

But I can't. And that's probably a good thing for society. I've had enough experience, enough shame, that I think I can be basically trusted to be a good person. I have my rough edges, same as everyone else. And there are people I don't get along with. But because of how perfectly unavoidable this excruciating feeling is, I am a much better person than I was before. My struggle for virtue was born in those dark pits of shame.

And I think it's okay to discuss that, sometimes. Shame itself isn't anything to be ashamed of, if you put it to work pushing yourself to be kinder, more virtuous, more forgiving, even if you can only improve a tiny bit.